Credit Crunch affects us all

Until now, the credit crunch has not affected me. I still had my job, and all my bills were paid. However, I did run on a bank overdraft, and now my bank has withdrawn that facility. To be fair, they have given me a year to do it, but I now have to make serious savings each month.
It seems bizarre that the bankers who caused this mess are still highly paid, and the normal hard working population have to pick up the pieces.
I need to live on baked beans for the next year - could be interesting round my house!

Your Wrong

There's a barber shop in Wickford with a sign outside that says "Your nuts not to come in". The usage of Your instead of You're drives me nuts. The sign actually means that my nuts must not come in the shop - ok, so they wont. Another advert in a Newsagents shop started with the line "While your working in London.."

There are many examples of poor English; mixing up There and Their (What's there address?), To and Too (I can come to), New and Knew (If you new it was true). When I worked in Liverpool, there was a bakers shop with a sign that said "Are new phone number is .."
I know I'm crap at English, but I know what words to use. Why can't the rest of us?

Go on then, reply with "Get a life"

Another Arsebook Scam

Watch out for the e Platinum credit card advert on Arsebook. It says £5000 limit and no credit check. That's impossible surely? Correct, it is. This is not a credit card, it's a catalogue with extortionate prices and a £5 monthly fee. And almost £100 to join. What a rip off! Read about it here.

How many days 'till Christmas?

Our local rag has an advert for Christmas parties. You need to book now. Come on guys.. Christmas is fine, but only at Christmas time. Do we need to book 7 months in advance?
We need a new law in this country: No mention about Christmas until December.
My favourite day of the year is Christmas day. Why? Because it's the only day of the year that my family don't talk about Christmas. By the way it's 217 days to go.
BAH HUMBUG!

Man Utd - AGAIN

So the scum have won the league again. The premiership is getting very boring and predictable. Pick one from Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool. Probably in that order. These clubs will be the top 4 for the next 10 years, unless some billionaire comes in to buy Tottenham, Wigan, Aldershot, Tranmere or Scunthorpe. The money should be spread around on a much more fairer basis. These 4 get stinking rich, and other clubs go to the wall, with huge points deductions. look at poor old Leeds, Bournemouth and Luton.
It might help if the people of Luton went to support their local team, rather than watching Man Utd on the TV.
Lets hope the scum don't have it all their own way - Come on Barca!

Expenses

The Mp's expenses saga rolls on and on. It's a disgrace that they have been paid for things like cleaning the swimming pool, plasma TV's and clearing out their moat(?!). But surely the system is at fault here? If you are allowed to claim for these things, then why not?
Probably the best bet is to scrap the second home allowance, and make them sleep in a broom cupboard in the houses of parliament. Sounds too mean eh? Well, ok, we'll give them one of the crisp/sweet machines that you find in Traveloges, cant have the poor buggers starving can we?

How many Ford mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?

I have had to change both headlight bulbs on my Ford Focus recently, and it is almost impossible. The nearside has the battery in the way, and you need tiny hands just to be able to reach the light bulb holder. The Fiesta is even worse, you have to remove the radiator grille. I have heard that the KA is worse still. It's not just Fords, it appears that most modern cars have the same problem. It looks like it is done so that you have to pay them to do it for you. This is should be the simplest of tasks that the motorist can do, yet it's another rip off!