Here we go again

That infantile moron, Alex Furguson, has blamed the ref for his teams defeat in the charity shield match. How many more times are we going to hear this pathetic self-centred dipstick bleat on and on about it's always the refs fault when his team loses? The idiot wont even talk to the BBC about it. Grow up dickhead!

Camping

Do you have to be mad to go camping? What fun we had. Putting the tent up in the rain, 10 minute walk to the bogs, 3 showers for the whole camp, more rain, kids pulling the tent pegs out at 3 in the morning, insomniac seagulls squawking a 4am, yet more rain, sleeping fully clothed because its so bleeding cold and wet, cramp in both legs due to the cold, even more rain, sharing your dinner with wasps and flies, taking the tent down in rain. Cant wait for the next time. Think I'll just sit in a puddle, and get someone to throw wet sponges at me whilst doing seagull noises very loudly!

Dartford River Crossing

On Tuesday, there was a power failure in the Dartford area, and the Dartford river crossing was free, until some bright spark managed to start the generator (boo). Apparently the traffic flow was great until then. Back to the good old days.
If they made it free, then traffic congestion would be eased. It's been paid for twice over anyway.
The crossing is owned by a French company so the profits aren't even coming here!
We car owners just sit back back and let everyone rip us off. Time for the motorists to rise up!

Credit Crunch affects us all

Until now, the credit crunch has not affected me. I still had my job, and all my bills were paid. However, I did run on a bank overdraft, and now my bank has withdrawn that facility. To be fair, they have given me a year to do it, but I now have to make serious savings each month.
It seems bizarre that the bankers who caused this mess are still highly paid, and the normal hard working population have to pick up the pieces.
I need to live on baked beans for the next year - could be interesting round my house!

Your Wrong

There's a barber shop in Wickford with a sign outside that says "Your nuts not to come in". The usage of Your instead of You're drives me nuts. The sign actually means that my nuts must not come in the shop - ok, so they wont. Another advert in a Newsagents shop started with the line "While your working in London.."

There are many examples of poor English; mixing up There and Their (What's there address?), To and Too (I can come to), New and Knew (If you new it was true). When I worked in Liverpool, there was a bakers shop with a sign that said "Are new phone number is .."
I know I'm crap at English, but I know what words to use. Why can't the rest of us?

Go on then, reply with "Get a life"

Another Arsebook Scam

Watch out for the e Platinum credit card advert on Arsebook. It says £5000 limit and no credit check. That's impossible surely? Correct, it is. This is not a credit card, it's a catalogue with extortionate prices and a £5 monthly fee. And almost £100 to join. What a rip off! Read about it here.

How many days 'till Christmas?

Our local rag has an advert for Christmas parties. You need to book now. Come on guys.. Christmas is fine, but only at Christmas time. Do we need to book 7 months in advance?
We need a new law in this country: No mention about Christmas until December.
My favourite day of the year is Christmas day. Why? Because it's the only day of the year that my family don't talk about Christmas. By the way it's 217 days to go.
BAH HUMBUG!